Imagine stepping into a windowless room where the walls are painted black. As the door shuts behind you the darkness closes in on you. Reaching out you can’t feel anything. The room may be as large as football field for all you know. The darkness is heavy and even though you are seemingly suspended in space, the lack of any light induces a claustrophobic feeling.
Standing in the vast darkness you may as well be drowning. Your heart pumps faster and faster, and the breath in your lungs is labored. It’s as if there’s oil moving through your veins. The more you try to break free, the further you seem to fall into the void. It feels as if you’ll disappear in this place. No one will remember to look for you, and how could they possibly find you when you can’t seem to find yourself.
If only you could just remember to open the door.
The image created above is a very real reality for some. I painfully understand as I’ve been there myself. My childhood was spent in a twisted, dark reality. Engulfed in despair and grief I felt like I was nothing. To me, God was just a benevolent fairy tale character. The stories were nice, but I definitely wasn’t being rescued. Instead I lived with the devil himself. Every creak of a stair and soft click of the bedroom door was the Satan himself cackling with glee upon my torment.
Lost in the darkness I continued to wander. It festered and turned me into a snarling, wrathful creature intent to hurt easy prey. Even though I was a tiny little thing, I was a vicious bully. Hurt had been building within me, and Satan was whispering that there was no escape.
God found me submerged in grief, and in my brokenness He called me his daughter. I am proof that the light defeats darkness… ALWAYS. My story is just a drop in the bucket.
God wins every time.
The enemy will do his best to convince you that your grief will swallow you whole, your anxiety will defeat you, God has forgotten you, God has turned from you, you deserve the pain, your abuser is just lying in wait.
These are all malicious lies. If you need proof turn to God, and if you’re having trouble hearing his voice read his word. Go to the quiet place and speak to the one living within you. If God is within you, Satan cannot have you. YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN CLAIMED. The darkness is a liar.
In the absence of God there is only darkness, for He is the light. Those who know God just need to block out the noise of the enemy. We can feel forgotten by God because we are focused on the noise being thrown at us, and believe me when I say I truly do understand how difficult this can be.
The reality is that we live in a broken world full of pain, discomfort and overwhelming grief. Having an intimate relationship with God doesn’t keep us from feeling these things, instead it allows us to overcome them. Jesus took on all of our pain and grief through a very public, torturous death. He then went on to defeat death.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Through Him we can overcome whatever Satan tries to craft against us. If God has overcome the world and he lives in you, it stands to reason that you can overcome anything because the power of God resides within you. He equips us to fight against the darkness.
When Satan tells you God has forgotten you or left you, call him out on his lies. God is within you! No where in the bible does God describe his love as conditional. Satan is right that we don’t deserve God’s love, but the incredible truth is that God gives us his love unconditionally anyway. He loves us not because of anything we have done, because we cannot ever do enough to earn it, rather, he loves us because we are his and He gave the ultimate sacrifice as proof.
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
He already took our pain and grief. Jesus wears it so we don’t have to. Rest in God and He will carry you through what feels like endless darkness. Let him be the beacon guiding you home. Eventually we’ll be called home and He will call us by name. That place is void of pain, grief, discomfort and darkness.
Slow down, block out the noise, and find God in the stillness. He will give you rest. He will give you peace. He will comfort you as you weep. You only have to find a crack in the darkness to defeat it. Let God lead you to the fracture in Satan’s lies and He will help you break free. In order to do so you have to focus on the unassuming fissure and ignore the oppressive, deafening darkness around you. God is quiet but mighty. Jesus took your pain. Let Him carry the weight of the world for you and find peace in His arms.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30
One thought on “Whispers in the Dark”
We were sad to hear of your pain and I know that terror of the doorknob, you described it so marvelously. Please pursue writing you have such a gift. Know we love you so very very much..❤
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