This past week has been uncomfortable. Without going into any details for the privacy of those involved, there have been many heated arguments and increased animosity between family members on all sides. In these volatile situations, I am often seated right at the center, regularly as the mediator, whereas I would much prefer to turn a blind eye and let everyone fight to the death themselves.

I think that’s probably the sentiment we all share though. Who truly enjoys to sit among misery? It’s honestly exhausting.

What I have been struggling with the most through it all comes back to the same types of questions. “Am I doing the right thing?…Did I handle that right?…Was that the right thing to say?… Should I have done more?”

I have been so heavily convicted with my actions through all of the messiness around me, because I know I am not always acting or responding in a way that brings God glory. I am trying so hard to encounter hard things like Jesus would have, but I feel like I just keep missing the mark. There is no way to please everyone, and sometimes God did not need me here in this moment to save them all. I have a hard time remembering that God is doing the heavy lifting. I need to continue to reflect Him in all I do, and pleasing people isn’t exactly what Christ’s M.O. is.

That is exactly the type of toxic thought that trips me up. Who am I trying to please here? God or man? When Jesus walked this earth he was an incredible man. Exalted high by his followers, but crucified by the majority. He was rejected and attacked because he went against the teachings of both the culture and government leaders, many times religious leaders. Even those who claimed to be followers of God rejected his son and lived by their own rules rather than set their eyes on God himself.

This cycle continues throughout history. Today we live in a world where the humble servant of God is a minority. Instead we live in a world, similar to the one Jesus walked through in sandaled feet. Between cancel culture, woke-ness, racial divides, politics, idolatry, and misguided Christians, (to name a few), our world is set up on being a very specific kind of person.

Our world calls us to put ourselves first. Love yourself first. Treat yourself! Even if it means financial burden or continued indulgence in your own behalf rather than help a struggling neighbor. You are what matters. Your needs matter… screw the rest! We are called by this world to worship ourselves rather than the creator.

Just as in Jesus’ day, Christians are continually missing the mark. The world has successfully influenced many Christians with their self serving world view that it has allowed us to manipulate God’s word into something it’s not, in both conservative and less conservative views, which manifests into a judgmental believer and WE begin determining what sins are bad and what WE can tolerate.

We are taking on a responsibility that is not ours to shoulder. Our responsibility is to live as Jesus did, the best way we can, and we will continually miss the mark just as the people did in Jesus’ time. Every time we trip, we have to look to God for direction. If we look to the world we will be trampled under the feet of the enemy.

Jesus carried the weight of our stupidity on his back and died knowing that we would never become what He called us to be. He loves us despite the fact we fail him every single day. Sin is sin is sin. There is no better or worse, and its not our place to judge others on the weight of their transgressions. God calls us to live a life reflecting him in a world so focused on shutting him out.

This past week I have been living amongst misery. So many around me are angry and resentful. The good news is that light ALWAYS wins. You can break every bulb in a room and brick up all the windows, but it only takes one storm to knock the walls down and let in the light. We are called to reflect that light, so that in the darkness there is hope for those that are lost.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 10: 30-33